Lilith girl scouts lego trip

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My friends house burned down

I received a call late last night from my good friend and I could tell from her voice (it was breaking) that something was horribly wrong. Her house burned down. Worse, while her son was home alone. They had a pet die. They have lost everything and since they were renters, they are homeless now. She has gone through so much and has been trying so hard the last few years to improve their situations and it seems like every time that something goes right in her life, something terrible has to happen soon after to knock her back down. She just found out she got a new job two days ago. She was so hopeful and excited, now this. I feel horrible for her. I wanted to reach through the phone and give her a big hug. I would tell her to move her, if I thought she would be happy but her mother is ill and she needs to be by her now. I just hate to see someone I care about hurting so very much.
WOONSOCKET — A beloved family pet was rescued from a fast-moving fire Thursday on Summer Street in the North End. No people were reported injured.

WOONSOCKET — Firefighters battled for more than two hours with a stubborn fire at a two-family 2 1/2 -story house near the Massachusetts state line yesterday evening.

Three children and a host of animals, including two dogs, a cat, and at least 10 rabbits, were in and around the house at 261 Summer St. when the fire started just before 5 p.m. in the first-floor living room, according to Fire Chief Kenneth A. Finlay and homeowner Anna Sacoto.

All, except for a bird, made it out safely, said Sacoto.

Firefighters retrieved a cat from the burning house and treated it for smoke inhalation using a special resuscitator for animals. “We thought that the cat wasn’t going to make it,” said Finlay.

More than 60 firefighters from Woonsocket and Cumberland Hill fire departments worked to put out the blaze, which Finlay said was accelerated by wind gusts. The house was about 50 percent destroyed, he said.

“The temperature had been mild and the windows had been thrown open,” Finlay said. “The fire had all the air that it needed to grow.”

Originally built in 1900, according to city records, the large house’s layout also helped spread the fire, he said, allowing the fire to burn between walls and jump rapidly to the top floors.

“Every section of wall was like a separate chimney,” Finlay said. “The fire went horizontal. It went to spots that we could not go to quick enough.”

National Grid was called to cut power to the house when power lines near the front yard began sagging from the heat, Finlay said.

“It was a labor-intensive fire,” said Finlay.

The fire charred the entire front of the dwelling, including exterior porches on two floors, the roof and parts of the sides of the house, sending black smoke into the neighborhood. The police cordoned off the road between Winter and Rebekah streets.

The Binette family, who live at 275 Summer St., said they left their house upon hearing the neighboring house’s smoke detectors sounding.

They stepped outside to the sight of flames shooting out of a window nearest their home, which sustained minor damage from the fire.

Sacoto, the homeowner, said she was on her way home from work when her 13-year-old daughter, Monica, called to tell her that the house was burning.

Monica had been on the second floor with a friend from school, Nicole, according to Sacoto. An 11-year-old boy, Connor Kovacich, was on the first floor. Monica called her mother upon leaving the house.

“I’m very happy that my daughter got out. I worry about my animals, but if I lost my daughter, I don’t know that I would do,” Sacoto said.

Connor and his mother, Donna Kovacich, moved into the first-floor apartment last month, said Sacoto. Connor is usually watched by a babysitter while his mother is away, she said. Kovacich and her son were brought to the police station for questioning last night.

Finlay would not confirm the names of those in the house at the time of the fire or speculate as to a cause. Investigators from the state Fire Marshal’s Office were on the scene as the fire was brought under control at about 7:15 p.m.

Sacoto said she purchased the house four years ago and had recently renovated it, purchasing new appliances and re-siding it. She and her daughter will be staying with family in Uxbridge, Mass. The house had fire insurance.

“I don’t know what to do,” said Sacoto. “I don’t have a house. I don’t have anything.”

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Firefighters were dispatched to a three-story, two family tenement house with an address of 261 and 263 Summer St. minutes before 5 p.m.
The house’s owner, 46 year old Anna Sacoto, arrived home from work early that evening only to be met by her 13 year old daughter, Monica, outside. Sacoto’s daughter was home with a friend at the time the fire broke.
“I heard a kid screaming downstairs,” said Monica Sacoto. “He was screaming that he wanted his mother and there was a fire. Then, my dog started barking. I grabbed the little dog and ran outside.”
Monica left the tenement with her mixed terrier, named Baby, while her Jack Russell terrier named Duncan was already outside. A 10-year-old boy, who was home alone on the first floor, also managed to escape from the house to safety.
“I was upstairs and I heard a boy yelling from outside,” said Sacoto’s friend, 13-year-old Nicole Davison. “I looked for the cat and couldn’t find her. I then ran outside.”
“I never thought this would happen, never,” Sacoto said. A lot of animals were inside and outside the house at the time of the blaze. A bird on the first floor and a goldfish on the second are believed to have perished in the fire.
A teary-eyed Anna Sacoto feared for the safety of her cat, which was believed to have still been inside the building at first.
“I hope she’s hiding in the back of the house,” she said. “I wish I just could have saved her.”
The tiger striped cat, named Pumpkin, was in fact later located in the back of the house by firefighters.
The three-year old feline was given oxygen by firefighters at the scene and later handed over to its very relieved owners around 6 p.m., an hour after its disappearance.
“They found the cat, they found the cat,” said Sacoto. “I can’t believe it. They found her. I’m so glad the cat was found.”
“They gave her oxygen apparently,” said Domenic DiBattista, 12, cousin of Monica Sacoto.
“We did get a cat out and we did resuscitate it,” said Woonsocket Fire Chief Kenneth A. Finlay.
Eight rabbits, which were also outside in cages in the backyard at the time, were carried to a neighbor’s yard.
Ten-year-old Caitlin Brackett, a fifth-grader at Kevin K. Coleman Elementary School, was home next door with her uncle and brother when she heard screaming.
“At first, I heard this kid screaming and told my uncle,” Brackett said. “I heard an alarm. I looked at our fire alarm and it wasn’t going off. I looked outside and the porch (next door) was on fire. I told my uncle and then ran outside.”
Brackett’s uncle, J.P. Saumur, immediately called 9-1-1 and ran outside with Brackett’s four-year-old brother, William.
“There were a lot of flames coming from the first floor porch,” Saumur said. “I saw two girls running out of the house. They had a carrier of sorts with them. They came by me screaming.”
Firefighters continued to hose down small bursts of flames around 7 p.m. at the two-family dwelling. They also kept a sharp watch on the tenement’s roof.
“We’re putting holes in the roof to open it up,” said the city’s fire chief. “Because this was house with a balloon frame construction, there’s a lot of places the fire can hide. We’re trying to find it, but right now it’s moving faster than we are.”
According to the fire chief, the blaze moved fast throughout the tenement due to the available air circulating throughout.
“The fire had a lot of air to grow,” Finlay said. “If it had been a little colder or warmer and the windows were closed, the fire probably wouldn’t have been so fast. All of the windows were open.”
While the fire completely consumed the front façade of the building, the estimate of damage is unknown at this time. The fire’s origin and cause also remain under investigation.
“We’ve heard a lot of stories (about the fire) and we’re not ruling any of them out,” Finlay said.
Hundreds of spectators lined the street behind police barricades to watch firefighters working to control the blaze.
“When you witness something like this, you realize how important our firefighters are and at the same time, it’s devastating for the families,” said state Rep. Lisa Baldelli-Hunt, who lives nearby. “The most important thing is that everyone is safe.”
Personnel from all of the city’s fire five stations responded to the Summer Street fire, as well as Woonsocket police.
The American Red Cross was on scene Thursday to assist the two families.
“We will give them whatever they need right now,” said Steve Pechie, a representative of the American Red Cross.
Monica Sacoto will begin eighth grade next week at Woonsocket Middle School. All of her possessions, including clothes and supplies for school, are believed to have been destroyed.
Anna Sacoto, an employee of a Providence law firm, purchased the building nearly four years ago. She is also the mother of a 17-year-old, who was away on vacation Thursday.
The Sacoto’s resided in the tenement’s second and third floors. The first floor tenant for the past six months, Donna Kovacich, was not home at the time of the fire.
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Child home alone sparks 3-alarm fire

Updated: Aug 29, 2008 07:50 AM


Firefighters say the fire on Summer Street started on the first floor, where an 11-year-old boy was home alone.

WOONSOCKET, R.I. (WPRI) - Investigators hope to know later Friday morning what caused a three-alarm house fire in Woonsocket Thursday.

Firefighters say the fire on Summer Street started on the first floor, where an 11-year-old boy was home alone.

Everyone inside made it out ok, but the house is a total loss. A family cat was also rescued from the burning home.

There are reports a candle started the fire, but investigators have not confirmed that.


see videos here!

Will in the hospital and some shots of Carla's wedding

I could gloat but i want to believe I am better than that..maybe not Ha Ha!

Entry for November 07, 2006
To all My Cyber friends



Hi I am writing this today to see if anyone can help me and My Family. We live in Colorado Springs, CO. Things here have not been great for my Family. My son had a terrible accident and my husband and I both lost our Jobs. We are living Day to Day. We want to move back HOME to North Carolina to be with our Family and Friends. We would love to Be HOME for Christmas. As you can understand this will take a bit of money. Which we do not have. So I am putting this out there. There is a Link to our paypal. If anyone would like to help My Family and send us home for Christmas. Please donate what you can. This means the world to us!


http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-Eqi67cc3dLSYCenz4Fl1R67fMaN8?p=156

Thanks So Much Just for Reading this. God Bless To all



Kisses Marie

lilith's astrological reading

Infant Reading
a gift from the Beatty family for the parents of
Lilith, from her the Natal Chart
by Rev. Alice Miller
July 01, 2006 at 2:28 P.M. in Boulder, Co
www.lifeprintastrology.com
SUN: 09 Cancer Taurus-Scorpio :HORIZON MOON: 20 Virgo
Since the late 1970's most children born have been very different from earlier generations. The new
children enter life with the awareness of an adult already in place. Unlike earlier generations, they cannot be
conditioned to some idea which adults hold for them, although some do suppress a great deal for a few years, in
the name of peaceful co-existence. However, in the end, they are who they are. Most will resist attempts to
change them....even as you would, if someone tried that with you.
Most of the children born from around 1977-1995 have a highly emphasized sense of identity and/or
self-worth that cannot be shaken. Any attempts to do so–intentional or not–may meet with resistance.
Consequently, these children are sometimes considered hard to handle. These are called Indigo Children.
Around 1995, another change occurred. These children have the same adult consciousness, but are
more sure of themselves and less combative. If you try to change them, they will just ignore you and go on
about what they are doing quite peacefully. These are called Crystal Children. Of most significance is the fact
that they are naturally telepathic to an extent that many do not learn to speak at the expected time. It is
important for parents to notice that, even though the child appears not to hear, it does respond to
communication–in its own way.
Since the medical profession is still trying to measure children by the old, obsolete, standards it is
common for them to suspect deafness, autism, ADD or ADHD. While any of these are possible, in most cases
the physicians simply do not understand that what they are seeing is a new, more evolved, version of humanity.
Running at higher frequencies, they demonstrate new abilities–sometimes in lieu of traditional expectations.
Observe your child and follow your own intuitions in such matters.
For all of these children, the key is to talk to them, and keep talking. Talk about what you are doing
when you change and feed them. As they grow older, set rules–physically they are children–but explain these
rules as you would to an adult. If the explanation is that you need them to do this for your comfort, say so. Be
absolutely honest. These little ones will know if you are not. Do not try to hide anything. They will know it.
Parent them with absolute integrity and honesty. It is OK to make mistakes. You will. Just admit them and try
again. Your child will appreciate and love you for it.
We are accustomed to feeding babies every three hours or so. Most of these children need to continue
the practice. It will be important to provide healthy snacks for your child to graze on. Do not expect the child
to stick to the traditional three-meals-a day, because these higher-frequency metabolism do not do well with it.
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Lilith will impress the world as a good girl. She seems to have a natural instinct for
adapting to circumstances. Socially, she knows what will and will not work. Expect her to charm
everyone, presenting the angelic face of a sweet little girl. Let her charm you as well.
Only when someone tries to train her or bend her to their will, do you find out that this
child comes in with great determination to follow her own star, to be who she truly is. Quite
evident in her chart is a steadfast love of truth. Clearly, she has incarnated at this time with great
determination to make changes in the world. Your task is to allow her to walk her own path,
while providing only such limits and guidance as are truly necessary to keep her safe. Even before
she can speak, explain any rules you make.
Pay close attention to how she feels about the places and people, to which you expose her.
If she seems uncomfortable, respect that. This child could well be called stubborn. We would
remind you that stubbornness can be a major asset to survival–either physical or survival as who
one is.
Although Lilith is a Cancer, she thinks like a Leo and there is enough Leo in this chart to
suggest that when it is necessary to get parental attention, she will be quite skilled at acting out in
rather dramatic ways. Because of this, provide plenty of physical exercise to burn off energy.
You might even want to try some of the infant exercise programs. For optimal health, a balance of
active and quiet times are strongly recommended.
Although we have mentioned a need for attention, most of these children actually need
less attention during infancy that older generations did. As she reaches the toddler stage, give
Lilith a place to play that is somewhat private–with you in the next room.
As she grows older, give her the opportunity to develop her dramatic abilities. This might
be acting and, almost certainly, music. Sing to and with her from the beginning. Try playing
different music, as some of it may be quite soothing for her.
Like all Crystal Children, Lilith is right-brain dominant–intuitive, visionary, artistic,
creative. She may or may not be able to adapt to public school. Many of these children are so
psychically sensitive that they do not do well in large classes. Some simply cannot deal with the
logically biased educational system. (We hope that will change, but recommend that, when the
time comes, you investigate the schools she will attend–both before and after enrolling her.) As
she matures, it is best to allow her opportunities to sample all of the arts.
Pay special attention to tactile development. Once she can sit alone, she should have a
variety of shapes and textures to handle. She seems to be quite well-grounded for her generation,
and I think she will enjoy the opportunity to be out of doors where she can run barefoot and sit on
the ground.
Speech may or may not be delayed. If it is, try not to worry. Instead notice that she
responds to what you say–perhaps even what you think–long before she speaks. If she seems
slow to speak, try reciting rhythmic rhymes for her. I think she will like the sound, the beat and
that may encourage her.
Most of all, try to relax. Lilith is a wonderful gift, unique and special. She will naturally
be independent and highly individual, but may appear to adapt until she is about age 21. Because
of her name–I looked up the placement of the asteroid Lilith (referring to Adam’s first, highly
independent, wife). It is opposite Uranus, the planet which symbolizes our ability, first to adapt as
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necessary and later to turn it all around. It is also a symbol for human genius. Born with Uranus
in Pisces, the sign of mastery, Lilith is, in some sense, an Adept.
You may notice that she has arrived under what might be called a lucky star. This
suggests that she is lucky to have you for parents and you are lucky to have her in your lives.
As she matures, Lilith may show more of her Moon Sign, Virgo, than of her Sun Sign,
Cancer. You will surely see some of the dramatic Leo qualities. The combo of Leo-Virgo often
produces some type of designer. Later in life, this little one may choose something like that for a
career. Whether or not she does, she will become a designer of her own life. That comment
about her being a natural Adept is not entirely a metaphor.
Because Virgo is strong in this chart, I will add the following Virgo article from my blog:
Today, human consciousness is in transition, moving from the Piscean Age baseline up to the
higher plane of the approaching Age of Aquarius. It is my observation that this is most visible in
those individuals whose charts and lives are heavily influenced by Virgo.
In the past, Mercury-ruled Virgos were largely about order. They were the accountants of the
Zodiac. The new Chiron-ruled Virgos have incorporated much of the Piscean energy and now
apply intuition in practical, even logical, ways. The difference between Mercury-ruled Virgo and
Chiron-ruled Virgo is the difference between a basic personal computer and one that is connected
by a modem to the World Wide Web. In one sense, Chiron is a modem, but the simplest
understanding of the planet is that it upgrades whatever it touches.
Old Virgos often had to deal with issues of guilt and duty. New Virgo has reclaimed her
innocence. She understands that she is perfectly made, without flaw or impediment. She is also
at a turning point in human evolution, having recently completed her (spiritual) education, she
must now go out and practice it. Being young, she will make mistakes, but that is normal. She
constantly reminds herself: Practice makes Perfect and Practice leads to Mastery.
In astrological terms, it has long been said that the object of human evolution is to get to the
center of the chart. The first step in doing that is to find the center-point within each sign
polarity. The new Virgos are doing just that. In them the right-brain intuitive-creative function is
being reintegrated with left-brain logic. This clearly represents a consciousness upgrade that is
making spirituality both practical and useful.
Beyond all that, Chiron’s discovery in 1977 marks a turning point in human evolution. It was
where the new kids reached critical mass in the general population. From that point, increasing
numbers of births were of a new type being, called Indigo. They are markedly higher in
consciousness than earlier generations. In 1995, when Chiron entered Libra–the Zodiacal turning
point–a second type of new kid began to arrive, now called Crystal Children. One of the major
1 We strongly recommend her website and writings on the subject of these children.
4
writers on the subject, Doreen Virtue1, predicts a third type which she calls Rainbow. It is our
feeling that these will be keyed to the entrance of Chiron (nearly simultaneously with Neptune)
into Pisces, the sign of Mastery. They will represent the necessary critical mass in human
consciousness which will pave the way for the Age of Aquarius. Interestingly enough, this occurs
in 2012.
It is not easy being Virgo, because the belief systems of this world refuse to recognize either
Virgo perfection or Piscean mastery in humans. Still, they exist. Believe me, God/dess didn’t
make no junk!
Thank you to all the Virgos now in transformation. You hold the vision of a better tomorrow.

Lilith makes friends

For edith

Luvsexytrstno1

Can you send me the link to your blog? Carmina doesn't want me to see it and I would like to know why she doesn't want me to see it.


Kathe
To kathe
Re: Blog
Have u seen her swingers blog? I can only assume that you prob. Haven't and that is why she doesn't want you to read mine as I took excerpts from her swingers blog and posted them in response to messages she was posting on my blog. I found her blog by going to yahoo and searching for her user name gemomni74. She mentioned me several times on it even though I had stopped all contact with her in october. I was very offended by some of the things she was saying and the dramatic, "I've been such a good friend to her yet she has never done anything for me" tone of it all that I posted a link to my blog (as a comment) on her swingers blog and posted 2 of her last mean emails to me on my blog so that these new "friends" of hers could see just how "there for me" carmina always was. She erased the link of course and proceeded to write in her blog how I made up lies about her on my blog when the only thing I had posted that mentioned her at all were the two emails from her, no comments or anything from me. The worst part was that she kept making posts on her swingers blog saying that I wouldn't leave her alone, so I posted my email to you the one where I told you that I wanted to keep in contact with andrea but had no intention of continuing my relationship with carmina and why. So she posted a big message about how she had tried to be my friend etc, etc and made it sound like I she was having to end our relationship, etc, etc so I copied that and a pretty mean post about the swinger parties they go to on my blog and wrote, good luck with your new friends. And put a link to my blog as a comment on her blog because she was saying that I should feel free to post my side of this, etc etc on her blog but even though I had not written one thing about all of this in my blog other that posting her own emails and the one I wrote to you in oct, she deleated the link and continued to post on her blog like I wouldn't respond to her on her own blog but was telling lies about her on my blog (but wouldn't leave the comment with the link to my blog or supply a link to my blog herself) So long drawn out drama, excuse filled story...exactly what I hope to not have in my life anymore hence my ending of my relationship with carmina in the first place, I finally responded on my blog and let all of my feelings and beliefs and opinions about some of the worst of what I have witness during my relationship with carmina come spilling forth. What was sad is what I wrote was only the tip of the iceburg because I honestly don't think she could handle hearing all of it and as much as I would like to believe that she might actually admit that what I wrote is true and start to see the destructive patterns in her life and maybe be motivated to try to change them, ...I know the odds of her actually doing so are almost nonexistant so I only put what directly related to me and what finally drove me to end our relationship. Even though what I wrote was ment to upset her enough to get her to leave me alone, I really didn't want to hurt her, shock her into seeing some facts about her life and maybe quit pretending that all of the problems were caused by others, maybe. I really believe that I was being honest 100% in what I wrote kathe and that is what matters most to me.I could tell you some of the unflattering things she wrote about in her swingers blog that impact you directly but that is not my business and I don't want to get involved in a childish game of he said, she said which is exactly the kind of thing carmina always tries to start. I actually don't want to be involved with anything that has anything to do with carmina anymore, which is sad because from reading her own blog, I have to admit to myself that if I met her today, the person she has become and the life she is leading, I would want nothing to do with her. I read my emails from my other friends and what they are doing in their lives and realize that carmina isn't even in the same stratosphere as them, I don't mean just finacially like carmina will assume, but I mean in maturity, stability, and most importantly in reaching their goals, heck by even having realistic goals and by actually working on plans and actively taking the steps to make those goals a reality, most of my other friends have left carmina emotionally and lifestyle wise back in junior high. I have know most of these people since high school and a few since grade school and again even though carmina will want to believe that they have all had much better childhoods, opportunities, and support systems than she had, she would be wrong in may cases. Almost everyone I know has had to overcome major roadblocks in their life and had people in their lives that tried to sabotage them at one point or throughout it all. Carmina may want to belive that she is the only victim in this world but the only difference between her and the millions of successful people out there is that they were will to do the work that it took to succeed and if they found they were unable to or didn't know what to do, they got help. That help could be education, mental health, physical, or even finacial but they got it and in most cases had to EARN that help, it wasn't just handed to them like carmina wants to belive. Heck carmina tells people that everything was handed to me but she forgets to tell them that I worked 2 jobs most of my life, that I worked full time through every degree I have ever earned, including nursing school and how I worked 6 days a week at saint anthonys for almost 6 years to buy the furniture, etc that I have now. She also doesn't think about how I am having to work extra shifts while preg. So I can buy baby supplies and have enough saved up to even be able to afford to take any sort of maternity leave. I don't sit and dwell on these things, I am too busy living my life and working to better my life to sit immobile and feel sorry for myself. I also feel I have wasted too much time on this whole carmina mess and I really hope this is the end of it. I did want to explain myself to you as I am sure you have been hearing her spin doctored version of what really went on for months. I think she has hidden her blog from view now but I will send you a link to my blog which has a link to her page and friends list where you will find kris's blog also. I do hope that you and andrea are doing well and know that I have no anger towards either of you. I must say again, and I know after u see what carminas new lifestyle entails, you will understand why I am so happy that andrea has u in her life as a role model and support system. I will say that I hope you strongly reconsider things before u send her back to carmina this summer as she was saying that was the plan on her blog.I also must forwarn you that I will prob post this on my blog but you knew that already.Anna

it is sad to be right sometimes

patterns repeat and the cycle continues
this is a post from one of Carmina's "friends" in N. C. I wonder if this woman was able to read my blog or only heard Carmina's version on why I ended our "friendship". I feel bad for these people but even worse for Zane and as my husband says for us if Carmina and family really are headed back this way. I really was hoping my message to Carmina in the previous post would have some effect, especially the part where I begged her to get help and pleaded with her not to do this to another "friend", I see now that again, I am totally and 100% justified in ending my relationship with her as she hasn't and doesn't sound like she will ever change. Sad!
February 23, 2006- Crybaby huh?
As everyone knows, we had an issue recently with some people whom we thought were friends. Joe and I are very easy to get along with and generally overly-trusting people. This always seems to bite us in the butt. Since some of you knew the people we are talking about, we haven't posted any nasty blogs. Since they have, I decided to respond to them on my own page so that they couldnt delete any comments I had to say about them. Warning: this is gonna get ugly. So stop reading now if you dont want to know any more.A couple we met a few months ago, we really liked. We overlooked some of their flaws and hung out with them quite a bit. Even welcomed them into our "inner circle" group of swingers. When we learned they were moving to Colorado we were sad to see them go, but we had no problems at that point. We planned a Going away party for this Sat. We helped them move furniture and let them store some in our garage. We even found a temporary home for one of their dogs while they stayed with some other friends. So imagine our surprise last weekend when another couple we know dropped by the house where they were staying with the other couple we have known almost a year, and the entire place was empty?I understand moving from your rental home and leaving it so dirty the landlord will have to probably replace the floors in every room. (Seriously it looks like squatters loved there) I understand running from the law, your bills, never returning library books, not returning your cable box..etc. Those are personal choices that I DO NOT agree with but didnt really care about. What I do care about is leaving and not telling your friends. Then the other couple they were staying with MOVED WITH THEM! You think they called anyone and let them know? What about the party we were planning? Guess friendship means nothing to you that you dont feel you even had to say goodbye before you moved across the country. Now, having said that...I am a very peaceful person. Never had problems with anyone Ive met in life. My husband is the greatest guy I could ever ask for and we are by no means perfect.
HOWEVER, we dont run like cowards, telling everyone it was the best for our family to skip town. How about all the bill collectors that are looking for you? They provide services so that you will pay them, they arent charities. The landlord is going to have to hire a cleaning service and trash dumpster to clean up your rental house.
Furthermore, I will respond to the blog entry from Carm. Don't FUCK with my husband.
Her blog": (my responses are in red)Can we say over reaction? omg i had no idea that the people we know are such spazzes. let me outline a few things for you guys, we moved in hopes of making a better life for our famillys, we did it in secret cause we figured there would be some reprecussions and drama none of us wanted to deal with i, (gee i wonder why we would have thought there might be bad reactions?) This means, they knew we would be pissed because they dumped their dog on us. Even though they "promised" us they were taking him with them and would pick him up before they left. everyone needs to stop it. in response to whoever put the stupid comment up on joes blog that i shouldnt just toss my pets away cause i am tired and i should act like a responsible adult, may kiss my ass, there is no way i am going to sit in north carolina in a hotel looking for a home for a dog i had less than a month, not when it would affect my famillys welbeing. that is really key here, i like my friends but i love my familly, and anyone who cant understand that is a complete moron. Dogs arent throw away items. We are animal lovers and of course you wouldnt care about him being abandoned. You also wouldnt understand responsibility but I already knew that. the veiled thereats are messed up and show the absolute level of stupidity in the whole thing. the nasty calls to uninvolved people is also not right, i mean would you all like it if i called up your moms and discussed the contents of the partys? prolly not, calling my mother in law was low and uncalled for, We called the only number in colorado we had for someone in attempts of finding out if u guys were really there. Since nobody told us what the hell was going on, we had no clue where u were or why Dave and Marie disappeared too. By the way, I will give you my mom and Joes mom's numbers so that you can call them. They know ALL about the parties. calling that wretched bitch keri and informing her as to d&m whereabouts was also low and stupid. and why????????? cause your crybaby ass is mad over no one saying goodbye and because of a 30$ debt and a dog you ought to take to the fricking pound and have done with as a normal adult would do, and as i actually plannned to do. We were played like fools, we trusted everyone and they treat us like this. We only heard one side of the story from the relationship they had with Kari. She knew they were planning to move before we even called her. Aparantly a kid in school told them one of the kids were asking about withdraw procedures. (over a month ago) Also we are adults and can talk to whomever we choose. The debit and the dog issue we honestly never expected you to fulfill. i hate that good people got hurt but the more i go along with this the less i am sad about others cause true friends ( a phrase that keeps being bandied about like "true friends" is the ultimate commitment and be all end all of importance, taking precedence over familly) anyway true friends would look at the fact that here we can all make money not just the guys and here our kids can have things and our house can be decent and not a pos slummy dump. YOU CHOSE TO KEEP YOUR HOUSE A SLUMMY DUMP. Cleaning the house is what makes it nice. Obviously something you dont do. I work 70 hours a week and manage to keep my house somewhat clean. There is no excuse for general laziness. Want me to post photos how the house looked after you guys moved? I dont think so. We know who will do all the cleaning in the new house and it certainly isnt you. Your kids will have a better life if you teach them some responsibility. RETURNING library books, not distroying everything they touch, parents who work to pay all their bills and dont hide from the law. (Kris did work very hard and Im not saying anything bad about that.) so for those of you who have been understanding and seem to get it i love ya and appreciate the adult manner in which you have taken this, and for the others why dont you get some help, and look at the foul ass way you are acting and try to decide what it is that was done to you, and maybe if you do that you will see why you werent trustworthy enough to be told what was up before the move.
We were trustworthy enough to be friends with you, brought you medicine when you were sick, shared our friends with you, so much more. SO WHY? So you could stab us in the back. Joe is the most wonderful man in this world. He was very hurt by all this and Im tired of standing back and being a doormat for everyone. I know everyone will want to comment and post blogs filled with lies, etc. DONT CARE. If you dont like what you are reading. FUCK OFF AND LEAVE US ALONE.
Comments(2 total)
Sexyba... Offline
I called Kris's mom Kitty who was VERY polite. She even offered to contact some animal rescues for me. I told her I understand she has no control over what her family does and all I'm asking is help placing the dog. She said OK. I will say even thought I'm sure he does not like me now, Kris has Always been polite to me and my family and I showed due respect to his. WE ARE DONE WITH THIS ISSUE. Live your lives in peace and we will to.
Thursday February 23, 2006 - 07:44am (EST)
inked_... Offline
Wow it's sounds like you guys got used and abused, I am sorry that happend. And granted I don't know all that went on, but I have a pretty good idea from shelly's blog, but anyone who just up and leaves there pets...well i understand things come up but the "adult" thing to do would be call the pound and have them come pick the animal up before you leave town, or hell call from your new city. As far as debts go, well I will be the first to tell ya, If I had all the money people owed me back I could retire. It's very sad that you two got taken advantage of. You are such great people. And whats even sadder about this whole mess, is that you seem like you would do anything in the world for your close friends and the next time one of your friends need something, you may reflect back on this bad time, and decide you don't want the hassle. And I wouldn't blame you at all, I guess that old saying is true, when you play with fire you'r apt to be burned. Not that you were aware that this situation was fire, but it was just an analogy lol.

proof that I did the right thing all along

After much deliberation (I am talking months), as I had discussed ending or at least taking a break from my relationship with Carmina with Kathe before Andrea even went out to live with her the first time but Kathe reminded me that Carmina would never permit me to have any contact with Andrea as long as she was living with her and she knew that was important to me as I truly care about Andrea (heck I have known her all of her life) as it turns out Carmina was just that petty and did indeed write me a nasty email telling me that she wouldn't allow Andrea to receive any emails from me while she was living in her house even though she admitted in that same nasty e-mail that I had never once written anything personal much less anything about Carmina.
This was in striking contrast to all of the e-mails that I received from everyone of her email accounts (including her husbands) making me have to block each account on my instant messenger, home email, work email, and phone email. But I never responded to any of them, because I knew that was what she wanted as I have seen her do this to friend after friend during the years I have known her. She even went so far as to send me nasty messages through her Netflix account in the form of recommendations! Still I refused to take the bait. In fact I only wrote Kathe to tell her what had happened so she could explain to Andrea that I still cared about her (that email is posted also) because I didn't want her to think I had stopped wanting to have any contact with her or that anything was her fault.
Carmina still kept writing my mother and IMing her when ever she logged on however. She tried to write my mother for information acting as if she was concerned about me. When Carmina started all of this up again, she started trying to IM my mother about it. My mother whose painfilled house bound days where her only escape is the computer that my husband and I bought her. My mother who, for your information Carmina has less than 5 years to live (if you were such a concerned caring friend you would know that), told me this week that she needed me to show her how to log in as invisible on her yahoo beacuse she can't get on her computer anymore with out your iming her about this! If I am angry at Carmina for anything, it is that. How dare you be so selfish and self absorbed to try to involve my DYING mother in your soap opera!!!!!
When I started getting im's again from you (trying to get me to accept you back on my network) and noticed you were making comments on my blog, I knew in my heart that someone had pissed you off and hurt you in your new swingers club so you thought you could write me and Anna would gladly accept and sit and listen to YOUR version of how these people (that I don't even nor will I ever know so how can I know the whole story) had done you so wrong. Now if what you say in your blog is so true about me that I was never there for you, why did you wait until THAT DAY (you know the blog that I posted from your swinger blog that you have since deleted, about how these people were backstabbers and talked trash about you, etc ,etc but how you had secrets on them, etc) to try to contact me again so ardently?
It saddened me to find that blog Carmina because as much as I knew in my heart I was right, I truly did want to be wrong about it. "If someone plays with someone and another person gets upset it makes for a uncomfortabe time all the way around. im just tired of it." "but im not going to want to play and see carm not haveing fun because it not fair to her so i dont think im going to go to anymore partys and we might only play in pairs or select 3 cpls settings". What was worse was after reading your blog and Kris's I see all of the reasons that I had (and I know you don't believe this but it is true) for not talking to you anymore were still there and some were even worse than before. It was only then that I posted your cruel email to me on this blog and my letter to Kathe explaining why I wasn't writing to Andrea (notice the date on that letter too as it was months ago). I was hoping that you would take the hint and stop trying to contact me but you wouldn't let it go! I then posted YOUR OWN WORDS as you admit word for word from your swinger blog and your snarky comments on my blog about how you had found new friends so you would see that I knew the real reason you were trying to cantact me. That I had read that blog. Again, it didn't work and you deleted that entry off your blog (after it had been up there almost a week Carmina get real), and started running me down in your blog something until this entry now, I had NEVER done, check my old posts (I HAVE NEVER DELETED ANY OF MINE), the only time you were even mentioned was during the holiday post where I was feeling sad about all of the hard times everyone I knew was having during this holiday and even then I only said that I had to stop talking to you because you were saying hurtful things about the people I cared about. I NEVER went into your life, your deeds , or my feelings about YOU! As I read through your posts I found several posts mentioning me. You even admit that you talk to these "friends" about me. These people don't know me from jane, but they are beginning to know you as that entry you erased pointed out.
I was firmly of the mind to not talk to you AT ALL perhaps ever again as I told Kathe and I CERTAINLY didn't want to bring up your short comings and misdeads to these people that I don't even know and will never know. I know from your actions that all of that is still a very big part of your personality so I figure these people (unless they are bored and drama queens like yourself, or are really stupid) will figure these things about you in time and on there own without any help from me and at that time they will decide if it is something they can accept in you or not and act accordingly.
BUT>>>again you won't let it go. You are telling and posting flat out lies about me Carmina and you know it is true so I am warning you, you are only going to be hurt if you read further...
Do these people know that when you were squaters in those condemed apts that I begged my friends several times to take me there to bring you and your family food as I didn't have a car of my own? (funny you guys always had cigs and Kris always had pot even when your children didn't have food). "That bout covers it tonite, i have eaten my grits and syrup, which is all there was to eat"
Do they know how I put my reputaion and a friendship with the lab manager at Clinical Laboratories of Colorado (which later became Quest) on the line when I BEGGED for him to hire you even though you had NO job history or references. How I had to tell him that you and your family had been in and out of homeless shelters 3 or 4 times (the last time on Christmas) in order for him to hire you? Do they know you had never had a decent job before that ? That even when you worked for the home health agency they fired you several times and only called you back because, by your own admission they were desperate?
Do they know how many times you have guilted me into lying for apartments and rental properties after you had been evicted or moved out from yet another place owing back rent and damages? (maybe they do as you have probably asked a few of them to lie for you this time around) "not sure how i am gonna handle all this on top of moving" "thursday pop inspection by the landlord."
Do they know that the last time we stopped speaking was when you told me that Andrea had been raped and molested for what the 2nd or 3rd time while living with you (funny nothing like this never happens when she lives with kathe) and you told her NOT TO TELL ANYONE!!! (she was what 7-8 years old!) because you told me you couldn't tell the police because you were already on probation for your house being so filthy that your landlord reported you to social services causing you to loose both kids and being charged with a felony child abuse charge. Did you tell them that it was only a short time after she was raped that time that she tried to hang herself at the fourth of july party where your husband was arrested because he was so drunk and stoned? That you had to hire a lawyer and due to the fact that they had messed up by not giving him a drug test at the scene, that was the only way you got it dropped. Did you tell them that Andrea was getting A's in school till she went to live with you? Did you tell them that your solution to her issues with self esteem and boys was to try to put her on birthcontrol (when she was 11 years old) instead of trying to get her counceling first even after I told you about all of the FREE counceling available you had the nerve to say that it worked for you. Did it now? You still have issues where all you think you have of value is your sexual skills. Don't you want Andrea to know that men can be her friends and that they should RESPECT her as well as she should RESPECT herself, that she has so much more to offer than just her body? (something you still haven't learned).
As for all of the ugly things you said about my husband. Kris did some horrible things during the course of your relationship but the only time I told you to leave him is when he pushed you out that window and was (by your own admission) drugged out of his mind constantly. I even advised you to go to him in North Carolina if you wanted your marriage to continue when you were out here considering sleeping with his brother, your mothers druggie friends, and even a coworker or two. Hell even after you moved out there, when you came back to visit you tried to get your married friend Mike to sleep with you at my house after you had begged me to go get you from your mothers drug dealing shack in the mountains after I had worked a 12 hour night shift the night before and had not slept at all, so "we could spend time together" and all you wanted was a ride and a place to seduce Mike.
You bragged when Kris left and even a few months after he was gone that he couldn't make it without you. That he was so stupid (remember you told my husband and I that you hadn't had an intellegent conversation since you married him) that he would never be able to find an apt or be able to turn the utilities on without you. But he did and boy did that scare you. It scared you even more when his mother was able to get him to stop the drugs something you NEVER tried to encourage during your whole relationship. And when he told you that, that made you even madder and you took care of that didn't you, told them they were cult like and brainwashing him. You couldn't stand for anyone else to have any influence over him unless it was you. You wanted him impaired as it keeps him weak which is what your self esteem tells you he must remain otherwise he would leave you. I don't think that is true as I tried to tell you and even when you were having the worst times with Kris I tried to tell you that and encourage you to go to counceling with him. You admitted to me that you thought it would end your relationship. Your are the same person emotionally I met in 1993, thirteen years and you haven't grown or matured at all but you know something, as much as Kris and I may believe differently about life and issues, I have to give him credit, as I told Kathe in that letter, Kris has grown. WHY CAN'T YOU?
I never called him names and made jokes about him like you always have EVERY man I have ever been with in the time I have known you? (Hell you make fun of Kris enough yourself no one else has too) That yells insecurity to me. The one time you did come up in couples counceling the therapist said, "Carmina does this because she is jealous, that I have always had the educational, career, finacial, and social sucess and all you felt you had that I didn't was a husband and children so you felt treatened when I got those too. I told her that I never though of it as who has more or better, and she said it is pretty obvious that Carmina does because it makes her feel insecure". There you go you finally know the whole extent of your involvement in our couples therapy. Which has worked wonders by the way but you don't want to hear that.
"Yes she was "there for me"but it always came with a price. This is an example of Carmina's version of BEING THERE;
"i am sure you know if you took him back, no matter what he did or what he said that you have given him carte blanche. he is now aware that as soon as you get bummed that he is gone you will cave in on the whole thing, and that if he hasnt cheated yet he can now do so without any real consequences for his deplorable actions. you saw, you listened to me read the adds, this is an old story, and 90% of those guys online were married. i personally dont care what he does or what you do, if you wish to conduct an open marriage (altho i bet you dont get to be open too) that is all on you, and i wont judge you on it, but you better hope that he is using condoms cause if he isnt you will catch something. if your lucky the worst you will get is the humiliation of going in and telling your doc that your beloved husband gave you the clap, if not so lucky...well i am not a great nurse but i have sat with friends dying of aids before (all gay men except one drug iv user woman)and i suppose i care enough to sit with you too."
I don't consider letters like that to be supportive, I take them for what they really are, scare tactics to get me to do what you want so you can feel better about yourself. Carmina never let me CRY on her shoulder, she was always malicious and cruel when I reached out for help. Like she said about her own mother, she knew better than to call her for sympathy because she knew she wouldn't get any, Carmina was always the same way to me. And worst of all she would pry me for every detail she could when I was at my most upset and hurting all the while acting like she needed to know in order to make me feel better (it was partly my fault for falling for the same evil tactics over and over because I wanted to believe she cared) and then even years after things had been worked out, she would bring up those details again and taunt me with them. Is that a supportive friend? She would try to tell me something to cause me doubt time I talked to her, he's cheating (hell Kris did cheat on her but when she was snooping on the computer last year and found he had been in contact with an old girlfriend, I told her that it sounded like they were only friends and that she lived far away so I didn't see what there was to worry about), he's using you for your money and going to leave you when he starts making his own (hell she supported Kris and Zane through the job I got her a Quest and I never said that to her and now who is supporting her, something she always said he wasn't able to do), his mother is trying to get rid of you so they can live in the house you are paying for and throw you out (his mother is now in treatment for her mental illness and on medication and her life is starting to turn around )
So while you invite these people that I don't even know (I know you find it hard to believe but I haven't mentioned you to anyone, even my husband , in months because honestly my mood and outlook on life were so much better without your constant dramas and feeding into my fears that I didn't even think of you other than Christmas time when I was mailing out presents and I knew I wouldn't be mailing yours) to your little soap opera of ruining any shread of friendship there was left and any hope there was of an type of relationship in the future.
Has it been good fun for you? Livended up your boring jobless days where you sleep and procrastinate about even simple things like keeping your house decent enough so you don't have to worry about social services or the landlord seeing it? If these people have gone to your house more than once, they know what I am talking about.
You posted on your blog that you wanted people to be able to see both sides so I posted a link to this blog which you promptly erased (even though I had only posted your own emails to me on it). Once again like with Kris, you are so insecure that you are afraid for these people to see any other version that the one you are spinning for them. Like I warned you when you told me you were going to start swinging, I don't care who or what you are sleeping with as long as it makes you happy and doesn't hurt your children (speaking of who is watching Zane, now that Andrea is gone, when you go to these parties? Kris's mother? another woman that you ran down constantly and called a bitch over and over even after she let you live with her, borrow money, and food?), but I don't think yourself esteem and insecurity are strong enough to handle it and as I can see from your posts, I was right. I don't know all of the details of what happened and I am sure I wouldn't even if I had taken your bait and written you back to hear your version of what went on, but I know that it reaks of jealousy on your part.
I have 2 wishes for the outcome of this letter,
1. you will realize even though what I have written will make you mad and even hurt you that it is true and even though I am far from the perfect friend and far from the most emotionally mature person I can be, I have grown a lot since I have known you and am working constantly to grow even more, while you haven't and your life hasn't either. all off the things that you complained about since the day I met you are still true plus some new ones, you haven't (and from the way your blogs read), aren't planning on trying to make any of it any better. You will know in your heart that you are not the blameless victim and will start to wonder why you felt compelled to ruin a friendship of over 13 years. (I didn't start this, you did as you well know, and I resisted responding to you as you also well know)
Carmina maybe if you truly had been working on your negativity and self esteem instead of trying to illicit sympathy from these fast friends you have made with your body, maybe we could have been friends again. Kathe though so and so did my mother. Both told me to take a break from you which is what I was DOING until you tried to stir all of this up again by harrassing me! I hope you will realize that and realize that if I truly had been such a horrible selfish friend to you all of those years, you being as blunt and "honest" as you claim to be, would have ended it LONG AGO! So you know you are fabricating a lot of this, maybe to make yourself sound better or to make you feel better about ruining our friendship, who knows.
I hope that you won't do this to someone else. I hope you will realize that you have serious issues that you need to work on before you can truly be the happy, mature, stable, and loving person that I always wanted to believe was in you but unfortunately never got to surface through all of the anger, self doubt, and jealousy from your childhood and poverty. I hope you will stop being afraid of the stigma of therapy (hell even the self help books on self esteem I got you through the years, you refused to read instead telling me to buy you erotica ) (only emotionally stunted and immature people value sex over their emotional wellbeing )and of facing your issues and work them out. Another good reason for doing so before it is too late; (I spoke to my cousins at the family reunion about my Cousin Cricketts oldest daughter Desi, Desi has moved far away and went to college, graduated, started a career, got married, had two children and hasn't had any contact with Crickett since she left. Crickett has never seen her grandchildren. Desi told my family that she remembered the way she was always treated as the babysitter and maid. How her mother always tried to play down any sexual abuse she suffered when her mother would leave her alone or had no idea where she was, physical abuse (like shoving or throwing books and shoes when her mother was in foul moods or didn't want to be bothered(sound familiar)), and all of the verbal insults through the years (everytime she called her stupid, treated her other children better because resented Desi for her jerk of a father leaving her and for her ruining her teen years by being born to her when she was 16(again sound familiar) ), and that she could never forgive her mother and as long as her mother was the way she was, she didn't want to have anything to do with her or for her children to ever know her. You yourself tell me you remember all of the abuse and neglect you suffered as a child, heck you still use that as a crutch for your immature and selfish actions, "And hopefully what ever higher power there be will look at me at the end and go easy, and realize that I did the best I could with the tools I had.".
Do you think Andrea is going to forget?
Do you think just because you are her mother she has to put up with any treatment you dish out weather it is good or bad for the rest of her life?
Crickett is 5'2" 350+ pounds and on disability. She has never had a real job, drove away the one good husband she had and has a 14 year old son that is so ADD that he can't even pass the 5th grade but she won't get him meds. She is only 39 years old!) Doesn't that scare you? It should. I know you love Andrea, heck Crickett loved Desi too but she was (and unfortunately still is) to emotionally stunted and depressed to function as a healthy parent. I love Andrea and I for as much as I never, ever, ever want to hear from you again, still care about you enough to not want to see something like that happen to you. GET HELP CARMINA! If you get NOTHING else from all of this, get that message. You could be so much more. you could be so much happier, a better parent, finacially secure, you might have the confidence to dress better, get a real job, go back to school, take better care of your health, stop thinking living in a flithy house is good enough, start trying to pay your taxes, bills , rent, maybe even have a savings so you aren't getting your phone, internet, or other utilities cut off all of the time, stop burning bridges with landloards (by allowing yourself to get so far behind on the rent you either get evicted or have to sneak off with no intention of ever paying it, making it impossible to get a decent apt or rental or hell any credit down the line)and jobs by just not showing up to work ever again (so you can't use it a a reference for a better job down the line)heck you would be a better wife and lover, if you just had more self esteem and faced your demons! You are an adult and a parent it is about time you started to act like one! I worked hard to pay my taxes and clear my credit and now we have a house and two new cars. You could do it too! Only your depression and lack of self confidence are holding you back (not Kris like you said for years) You have had 32 years to try to do it on your own and you obviously can't. Considering your childhood that isn't surprising. You owe yourself more than this, you owe your family more than this, you even owe your future and current friends more that this shell of a person that you have become. Please even if you hate me and think I am full of rubbish, know in your heart that I speak the truth about this.
2. never ever contact me of my ill mother again. please LET this go. let ME go. if I am such a selfish and awful friend it should be freeing for you to never have to speak to me again. Take up watching the soaps for your excitement, read the "National Enquirer" but please let me live my life in peace. work on and worry about your own life, stop trying to get information and contact from or about me. Never go to this blog again. It was never ment for you and had nothing about you in it except half a sentence!(unlike your blog), stop talking about me, tell people that it upsets you or makes you to angry what ever and they (if they are truly caring people) will stop asking you about it. I will be just fine without you and I have no doubt your life will continue on it's current distructive path without me. I will publish one more link to this blog on yours (so you can delete it as soon as you find it
"Carmin... Offline everyone is already assessed of the contents of your blog. tag your move" ) because you lied on your blog and told people that you wanted them to be able to see both sides. "feel free to post both sides of this, i mean lets be fair right everyone knows there are two sides to this and i have been nice enough to not post mine, because an arguement and even the end of a friendship is not enough motivation for me to ruin someones day. let alone post they types of stuff that has been posted so far."
To quote you, "take care of yourselves and dont burn those bridges unless u are sure u aint crossing back later."
Carmina's post on my blog (a very different tone from what she has been posting on her blog)
Oh well I tried
I am very sad, and it is very hard to let go of a friend, I am sad that things could not be worked out. I know you are as nosy as me and will check here and I am in no way gonna post a bunch of emails from before or start pointing fingers, I know I was wrong and I know you were wrong. I have started the process of deleting all the old emails all the good ones as well as the bad, cause the only way for me to drop stuff is to not be reminded. My own dumbass for being nosy started this stuff up to begin with. Like I said to someone the other day if u dig for info that you think may hurt you, you are likely to get it. So another day begins and the curtain falls on this one. I mistakenly made the assumption due to the xmas blog that altho the info was unflattering about me on that blog that it seemed as tho there was some hope of working things out maybe just the phrasing. I am not bored I am very busy altho never as busy as you, I am not lonely altho when your husband works nights you are always a bit lonely. I have had a lot of time for introspection over the last few years, the 6 months I lived alone with Zane in the cabin were great for me cause I realized I didn't have to have a man, and that tho things had been rough, I was going to Kris out here in the south because I wanted to not cause I had to, and really barring the occasional argument about money or stupid crap our relationship is stronger than it ever was. I have learned that drama is fun and fine but not a life and have realized I am so tired of not having a life. It is unfortunate that we cannot continue our friendship but I can live with that too. I also have realized a thing about friends if I look I will find them maybe not lifelong call in the middle of the night to cry on their shoulder friends but pals I can have dinner with and just talk about the dumb stuff I did today or our kids or whatever. And maybe that is best in a way cause with pals you don't have a history and you don't have all the deep dark secrets hanging constantly over your head, you just have someone you can hang out with and enjoy their company and know that they enjoy yours. So there ya go it is purged and over and I will mourn it as tho it is dead. It is probably better that way anyway cause it is a new beginning and a learning experience for me as far as what is my business and what isn't and what I should expect and what I shouldn't. I have been arrogant assuming that things were about me and I have made some shitty decisions as far as a parent and have not done well all the time,I also haven't done badly all the time either and where there ae better parents there are worse too. Which is neither here nor there all that matters is that at the end of the day I can look at myself in the mirror and know I am trying my best to do what is right, and some days I can and some I cant. And hopefully what ever higher power there be will look at me at the end and go easy, and realize that I did the best I could with the tools I had. I truly am sorry you have so much anger towards me and I wish that things were different. I wish there was a better form for me to say these things and that I could have made things better. I hope you have the best life you can and that everything works out for you and that things go as you plan and that if not you have the help and support to make it through the bad times. I think that is all I have to say except that perhaps you are judging me a bit harshly and we all say stuff in anger that we shouldn't and that I really didn't get any pleasure from your misfortunes, the hard times you had upset me as the you were family and I wished with all my heart that things could have been different for you.

frHi Anna,
Congratulations!!!, how exciting! Lets see, to answer some questions. I gained about 50 lbs with Gavin, but 20 came off when I gave birth. Then breastfeeding helps you loose more afterword too. Don't rely too much on the ultrasound for the sex of the baby, I've had too many friends who've gotten quite a surprise when they give birth to the opposite sex baby. I would buy neutral baby clothes and things for now. If you have to have an amniocentesis done then you'll know the baby's sex for sure. I would hold off on the baby shower until you know for sure what the sex is. Then whatever you don't get at the shower; you get. That's how I did it. As far as your energy level is concerned, it will be pretty high when you hit about your 6th month, before that you tire pretty easily. Keep me updated I'm so excited for you.
Mike and I are getting married May 27th. It's going to be a small outdoor wedding. I'm getting pretty excited! I'm working on all the details of it now. I hope we have enough money to pull it off.
We just got back from Disney World, we had a blast! We were there for a whole week. We got to go to every park and all the rides! It was so much fun. Mike took his daughter, Mikayla, and I took Gavin. I'll see if I can send you some pictures. Hey, write back to me; sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I've been so busy with wedding plans, Gavin's cub scouts, work, you know... I'll talk to you later Katie

Dearest Anna,I am going to give you the best advice I can as a person who really caresabout you and your new family. I think that we are more than pals or friendsat this point, and I really look at you as a best sister friend, so as thatkind of friend I will just be blunt. Carmina is disgusting and you are betteroff without her. She is negative, dramatic, a bad mom, dirty and trashy,obviously doesn't care about her body etc. You are drastically too good forher.I know that you have been friends with her for a very long time. But, thepast is always evaporating. You have to be here now. I think that you haveenough on your plate with being pregnant, being unhappy with your workplace,and being married. You shouldn't worry about some woman who is going make youfeel sad, angry, negative etc. because you DON'T deserve that.I think you should start over fresh in the friend department. I am honored tobe your friend and I only want to build you up and help you out. I think youshould seek out others who only have these same intentions.I hope that this is helpful! Call me if you need to talk :).Carla

Dedication for Carmina, "I have friends in low places"

Carmina's message on my blog;
I also have realized a thing about friends if I look I will find them maybe not lifelong call in the middle of the night to cry on their shoulder friends but pals I can have dinner with and just talk about the dumb stuff I did today or our kids or whatever. And maybe that is best in a way cause with pals you don't have a history and you don't have all the deep dark secrets hanging constantly over your head, you just have someone you can hang out with and enjoy their company and know that they enjoy yours.

from carmina's blog @

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-EWBYuK82fqs04WHy1KkX01w-?p=84
quick unauthorized blog to all my chums. First off just as an fyi i know ppl have talked all kinds of bullcrap about me and mine and probably i have barely scratched the surface. I learend a long time ago tho that if u look for stuff u feel may come off as unflattering you will likely find it. So what no biggie and a great big whatever to those who have said stuff. i know who cares and who dosent and am hearing a bunch of stuff hasnt changed my feelings much, i already knew one person ran her life on an emotional basis and i had to be careful not to upset the delicate balance, i already knew one of the guys was acting like i was their cuppa tea and i wasnt, i already knew one lovely lady smiled when she talked to me and couldnt wait till i left the room to tear me up to everyone, so really nothigs changed, except that i have spent all weekend explaining what the heck went wrong to the emotional one and have spent the weekend with lots of irritation and dissatisfaction. A great big not worth it there. the one person who really stirred up a bunch of crap is being very very quiet...you know who u are so all the rest of u who keep wondering if its you...no its not she knows who she is. (to quick spell it out further just in case it aint you reese) and again no big deal, go on take a preconcieved notion of how i am stamp it in stone in your head and stick with it till the cows come home, cause i have a secret and nice secret...all i will say is adieu my friends see ya soon and i will keep in touch, as for the rest have yourselves a little party and laugh it up, hell post a big pic of me dressed up as a logger and play pin the penis on carm, cause i wont be here to care. have a good week, take care of yourselves and dont burn those bridges unless u are sure u aint crossing back later.
love ya guys this will be my last blog for awhile i believe but my email and im works so feel free to drop me a line.
TTFN

Yep, I am nosey, and resourceful. Enjoy those new pals.

my oldest friend brenda

My turn!

1st let me say how glad I am that you have a more stable like now. You always seemed to be at your best back then when you were single, yet you seem to attract a new guy within months once you were single.

I'm so glad you met Will, have a career and are happy. By the way how is your Thyroid situation these days?

Okay about my life.......

What is your daughters name? YAZMEEN ALICIA
What is your home like? SMALL, BUILT IN THE LATE 1950'S. 4 BEDROOMS, 2 BATH NEAR LOS GATOS, CA
When did you start your own business? WE STARTED IN 8/04, BUT BECAME INCORPORATED IN 1/05. WE HAVE 3 PART TIME EMPLOYEES IN ADDITION TO OURSELVES. WE STARTED A PART TIME BUSINESS IN 1997 PREPARING ACCOUNTINGS TO BE PRESENTED TO THE COURTS IN VARIOUS COUNTIES ACCORDING TO THE CALIFORNIA PROBATE CODE BOOK FOR VARIOUS TRUSTEES, CONSERVATORS & GUARDIANS. WHEN I QUIT MY JOB, IT BECAME MY FULL TIME JOB, WHEN MIRCEA QUIT HIS JOB SOME 3 YEARS AFTER ME.... WE STARTED DRAGOMIR FIDUCIARY SERVICES, INC. SINCE HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO ANY PAPERWORK, I AM THE CEO, PRESIDENT & SECRETARY. MIRCEA IS THE CFO, VP & TREASURER. MAKES BOARD MEETINGS GO A LOT FASTER.
How is your mother? MY MOTHER IS DOING FINE. SHE HAD A CAREER CRISIS BACK IN 1994 & 1995 AND ENDED UP MOVING TO MISSOURI (SINCE HER BROTHER TOLD HER THEY HAD JOBS THERE) BUT MOM DIDN'T WANT TO WORK ON THE ASSEMBLY LINE AT FORD AND LIVED THERE WORKING AT A BANK UNTIL HER PARENTS HEALTH BECAME A FAMILY CRISIS. SO SINCE SHE WAS THE ONLY SIBLING WITHOUT A HUSBAND OR CHILDREN AT HOME, SHE QUIT HER JOB TO MOVE TO WISCONSIN TO TAKE CARE OF HER PARENTS. BEFORE SHE LEFT MISSOURI SHE KEPT A DOCTOR APPOINTMENT THAT FORTUNATELY FOUND THE BREAST CANCER BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE. SHE HAD SURGERY AND RADIATION THERAPY, THE CANCER HAS NOT RETURNED TO THIS DAY. SHE MOVED TO WICONSIN SHORTLY AFTER COMPLETING HER RADIATION THERAPY AND HAS BEEN THERE EVERY SINCE. MY GRANDFATHER DIED A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO AND MY MOM JUST CONVINCED MY GRANDMOTHER TO MOVE TO AN ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY WITH HER IN 2005. BOTH ARE VERY HAPPY.
Do you keep in touch with anyone from the old neighborhood? (Stacey) I ONLY KEEP IN TOUCH WITH MY FRIEND LENA THAT STACY AND I MET AT INDEPENDENCE. I HAVEN'T TALKED TO ANYONE FROM THE APARTMENT COMPLEX IN A VERY LONG TIME. STACY AND I SORT OF LOST TOUCH SINCE SHE HAS BEEN LIVING UP NORTH TOWARD SACRAMENTO IN LITTLE TOWNS FOR YEARS NOW. SHE KEEPS MOVING, CHANGING HER PHONE NUMBER, ETC. I CAN'T KEEP UP. I REFUSE TO CONTACT HER MOM JUST TO GET HER ADDRESS FOR THE 4TH TIME. SHE KNOWS WHERE I AM, SHE'S BEEN TO MY HOUSE SEVERAL TIMES.
What has been happening in your life since 1994? SINCE 1994..... GRADUATED WITH AN AA IN LIBERAL ARTS FROM A JR. COLLEGE, DECIDED NOT TO GO TO UNIVERSITY. WORKED AT A PROPERTY MANAGEMENT COMPANY AS A RECEPTIONIST/SECRETARY FOR SEVERAL YEARS GOT PROMOTED TO PROPERTY MANAGER ASSISTANT BUT BEFORE I COULD START GOT PROMOTED TO EXECUTIVE ASSIST. TO THE SR. VP (HIS ASST. WENT OUT SICK AND NEVER CAME BACK) DID THAT FOR A YEAR OR SO AND GO TRANSFERED TO EXECUTIVE ASSIST. TO THE VP OF OPERATIONS. DID THAT FOR A WHILE THEN WHEN BOTH VPS WERE GONE I ENDED UP ASSISTING A PROPERTY MANAGER WHO DIDN'T LIKE BLACK PEOPLE, THE OFFICE MANAGER WAS SUBTLY HARRASING SEVERAL PEOPLE AND THINGS WERE NOT GOING WELL, I ENDED UP HAVING A BREAKDOWN AND QUITING (TURNS OUT THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED TO THE VP OF OPERATIONS TOO). EITHER WAY I GOT A JOB AS EXECUTIVE ASSIST TO THE MANAGING PARTNER AT A CPA FIRM SUPPORTING HIM AND SEVERAL MANAGERS. I DID THAT FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS AND ENDED UP QUITING FROM THERE WHEN I WAS PREGNANT.
PERSONALLY, MIRCEA AND I WERE LIVING IN A 1 BEDROOM APARTMENT WHEN I LAST TALKED TO YOU, WE THEN BOUGHT A CONDO AND LIVED THERE FOR 5 OR SO YEARS, THEN SOLD IT AND BOUGHT THE HOUSE WE LIVE IN NOW.
WE HAVE OWNED AND SOLD SEVERAL VEHICLES DURING THIS TIME AND I AM CURRENTLY A VAN DRIVING MOM. HE DRIVES AN SUV.

I HAD A COMPLICATED PREGNANCY THAT ENDED WITH A PARTIAL HISTORECTOMY ON THE DELIVERY TABLE. UNFORTUNATLEY, THIS ONLY CHILD IS ONLY GOING TO HAVE ONE CHILD.

MAY YOU HAVE ALL THE CHILDREN YOU WANT.

Write back.

P.S. My brother-in-law has lived in Colorado for years now. Always near Denver never near Boulder.

Your friend, Bren

more on carmina

Anna,

I would tell you this and I would tell Carmina the same thing. There is no rule that says you have to discuss anything with anyone. I am sorry that Carmina has not been there for you and maybe this is the break you need, to branch out and find friends you can coffee with, going shopping with, etc. What Carmina feels about your husband or your life has absolutely no bearing on you, it is your life. And if it brings you pain, then you must step away for your own well being.

You can contact Andrea here, I have no problem with that and I don't think Carm would either if you were talking to her. I know she felt you were going around her and being sneaky or just a brat to make her mad. But here we work under my rules not Carm's. It makes Andrea very uncomfortable to have to defend her family and I try to stay away from that. She didn't make the family what it is and she shouldn't have to explain it, so that would be the only area I would ask you to stay away from.

As to asking me to be in the middle, I did not think you were asking me anything, but I wanted you to know my position. I always try to be upfront and truthful. It keeps things on the up and up and simple.

Andrea and I will be leaving for California on December 22 and returning January 4. We are taking the train out and spending time with my friends. We are both looking forward to this vacation.

Please stay well and take care of your self. We will do the same.

BTW, when I talked to Carm/Andrea last night, they were having serious computer problems. A friend is coming over today to see if they can fix it. So they will be out of the loop for a while.




----- Original Message -----
From: ANNA GONZALES
To: kathe
Sent: 11/11/2005 3:15:54 AM
Subject: i am not asking you to be in the middle
I am just letting you know so that one day if Andrea asks or wants to know why I stopped having contact with her, you can tell her if you wish to do so.
I know you believe that this will blow over but I am truly done.
I have given this some thought and as much as the decision pains me as I know Carmina needs a friend, I cannot do this anymore. I have tried to be understanding except when I thought Andreas safety and well being were at risk. I realize now that Carmina has never given me that same curtiousy. She seems to enjoy my misfortune which is also hard for me to accept. She doesn't want to hear that my husband is trying or that we are in couples counceling (infact she tried to encourrage me that even going was a mistake). She calls my husband names everytime he is mentioned and makes fun of him, playing on my worst fears and keeping me constantly upset and doubting my choices. I do not do this to her, I do not tell her Kris is cheating (just because he has in the past), I do not tell her he is going to shove her out another window (just because he has in the past), I tell her that I worry about some of his drug and violent history but I belive he has made great improvements and so long as he is her husband, I will respect that and hope that he makes her happy, (and if she isn't happy I tell her that I hope she can find what will make her happy whatever that may be). I never get this support or encouragement from her, I even told her that I was fine with their current "lifestyle" as long as it made her happy (even if I don't agree with it, I still feel it is her choice and I told her to be careful and to be sure she knew the risks, like I thought a good friend should). I want to work on my marriage and my husband does too and Carmina won't accept this. She won't allow me any privacy at all (but then she doesn't allow anyone in her household any privacy either so I don't know why I am surprised), even getting furious when I told her that I couldn't discuss our sessions because I had promised our therapist (not just my husband) not to as that is part of our issue. She automatically assumed that I wasn't telling her because Will didn't want me talking about it to her. Honestly Kathe, Carmina NEVER came up. I told her that we BOTH promised we weren't going to tell ANYONE but she egotistically went into a tirade about how my husband didn't want me talking to her because only she was telling me the truth. That is when I knew Kathe.
I think Carmina is bored and lonely and she is trying to keep her own little soap opera going for some ammusement. I refuse to allow my relationship and my unborn child to be the ant hill that she is pouring salt on just to see us run. I am in the middle of a high risk pregnancy and I cannot be this stressed all of the time. I also don't want to hear how I am doing everything wrong with my pregnancy and my child rearing from mother of the year either. Which was also becoming an issue.
I am only telling you all of this because I hope you see that I did try and that I do still care about Andrea. I am glad that she is going to be living with you again. I think she needs a good role model during her teen years especially, I think even Carmina knows you are better suited for that than she is at this point and I have to give her credit for sending her maid/babysitter back to you.
I am sorry this letter is so angry but I am truly upset and imagine it will take me a very long time to not be this upset. I wish you the best and I hope you and Andrea will be happy. Carmina knows my mothers e-mail and address, as she has been writing her (which is another issue I could ban her from trying to involve my very ill mother in this but I figure my mother is an adult so it is in her power to tell Carmina to stop if she wants to not mine, as Andrea is a child, I do see the difference in the situations even if it doesn't make me happy ( I also never sent Andrea anything personal or mentioning any of this, nor would I), so in the future if Andrea wishes to contact me when she is older, tell her to feel free.
I will not write you about this or mention this again as I don't want to keep this drama going so don't worry.
Good luck to to you and thank you for being there for Andrea,
Anna

carmina's letter

let me clarify for u ok? i have sat here listening toyou bitch about the horrible treatment you recievefrom will for 2 or 3 years now. i am worried, i alsohave been currious what he said to the therapist. ifyou dont want to shera fine you dont have too, but itis rather uncultured to tell me to mind my own damnbisiness and act as tho i am part of your marriagesproblem, and then ask a billion nosy questions aboutmy life. if it is part of your therapy and you feelgood about it, and you guys want to put forth thefeffort good for you it is also not my problem, i havenever made fun of you and have always had your backand intrests in your relationship, an i feel that ihave always been supportive of you. You told me that you hate the fact that when annie isthe subject we always fight, and she acted in a stupidfashion, and is being held on restriction so she cantdo anything stupid again till i get some idea andresourses to figure out what to do, but you come downon my methods, and you act like i am a fool everytimeannie is involved and i am already annoyed, and feellike it is my priveledge to not talk about it if idont want. there is also the fact that kathe told mewhat you and will did while i was there and i have acertain ammount of fear of what lengths you will go tonow, i have blown it off assuming you saw somethingand didnt feel like you could talk to me, and haveeven forgiven, cause i know that at the age annie isat there is lots of conflict. there is stuff thatlooks pretty shitty to people not there, and i admit iwas tired and in a foul assed mood that day and couldsee how it could have been construed as worse than itwas ment, and worse than annie took it her self, iknow i talked to her, and we actually had worked alotof stuff out that next day (for the record i didntfind out all of what you and will did till i had beenhome and was getting ready to move) but altho i washurt that you felt more inclined to do what you didthan talk to me and see what was up, and altho i wassuper mad i got mostly over it, i even gave you achance to tell me yourself and you didnt. inspite ofthat i have been your friend for years, and have agreat deal of caring for you, i was not meaning to ragu about your preg i just wanted tp share what i know,and caution you to be careful. additionslly i thinkpopping up a nasty msg while annie is sitting there sothat she could see the word swingers and ask questionswas just nasty of you, as i pointed out 1 night doesnot a swinger make, and also altho you may be hell onmy moralds yours werent always so perfect either(lauren corneilus, heck my cousin) it is a good thingi talked to annie and told her that i like shelly, andmaybe not in a totally chaste way or it would havemade me furrious which is what you wanted i am sure.in short anna take a pill, your hormones are off youare pregnant, take care of your life, and i will dothe same, cause if the only basis of our friendship isthat we talk trash about each otheres lives then thatis pretty sucky, i hope we can continue to talkwithout the whole judgemental bullshit on both oursides, i am sorry i am skeptical of will but you are alifelong friend and he is busting you down, i hate himcause i care, but will not mention either of ourpersonal lives till you feel like talking about them. I am scared to send this cause it brings the anniemess out in the open, but i feel like if you are myfriend you will see if i didnt care that would havewrecked any chance of me talking to you at all andeveryone from kathe to annie herself is stunned that iam so if you feel like addressing anything else hereyou are welcome to but do me the courtesy of notexpecting me to talk about that right now.C.