Sent: Monday, November 28, 2005 10:05 AM
Subject: Save Chreyl
After sorting out where you are, I would start by contacting Boulder County Mental Heath. I'm thinking that if Cheryl is being treated and medicated, she would be more likely to start moving in a positive direction. So tell BCMH that your mom is mentally ill, suffering from severe depression. Tell them that depression runs in the family (Uncle Jimmy). Tell them that Cheryl resists going for help and is engaged in self destructive behaviors. Ask them what is the best way, custody, guardianship, or whatever to move her into treatment. Get detailed instructions on process. Tell them she is no longer capable of making decisions for herself and you are afraid that she is suicidal.

Laurie said that getting Cheryl on Disability may not be very easy to do. In that process you must prove that you are no longer able to work at your job. But because Cheryl's flaming paranoia drove her underground, the records won't show any employment since the cigarette store. Therefore, it may be impossible to prove work, to then prove that she is too disabled to do. Please confirm this, but don't go blindly forward without checking this out. Laurie says that if Disability is out of the picture, you are left with AND, or Aide to the Needy and Disabled. That doesn't pay like Disability, but is slightly more than welfare.

That's why I think your best option is to get the mental illness treated. You may not have to get custody, but it may take an involuntary commitment hearing. That's when Cheryl will turn into Linda Blair. But with enforced treatment and medication, you stand the best chance of getting her back working and back into the real world.

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 14:52:25 +0000>>>Will,>>I'm sorry that you have apparently decided to not do what needs to be done >to get your mom help for her illness. Your inaction means you have chosen >the status quo, a very sick Mom over a healthy Mom and your loving wife and >child. You mentioned that Anna is up tight all the time. In large part >that is because she sees that you are not willing or able to protect her >from Cheryl's deranged intrusion. You are at the two minute warning. In >very short order, your Mom will complete the process of destroying your >marriage, she will lose both your trailers, she will distract you out of >school, and eliminate any career focus you might have had. You will then >be left in a dead end job that you hate, care taking your dysfunctional >live-in Mom and paying child support. In advance I will remind you that >you will have created this outcome from choices you made in January of >2006.>>Even at the two minute warning it's not too late. You could decide today >to enthusiastically pursue solutions to your Mom's escalating self >destruction. You could stop trying to make her comfortable and begin to >get her healthy. That means no more sighing and squirming on your part. I >never imagined that not confronting your Mom was more important to you than >saving your marriage. But that's the message that you not pursueing >solutions over your Holiday break clearly sends. And apparently you are >not willing to do anything that may upset or provoke Crazy Cheryl. But it >ain't over. Decide today that you want to help her. Learn what to do. >Then do it. Then it suddenly becomes the happiest time of your life. You >have a child on the way, you are finishing up school and about to launch an >exciting career. And Gramma will be on the mend, creating her own life and >not sucking the life out of you and your family.

Fw: Live on the Diagonal

Unfortunately, as usual, I'm sure Greg is right about this...

Read on,

Fuzz-Bob

----- Original Message -----

Sent: Sunday, August 07, 2005 5:19 PM

Subject: Re: Live on the Diagonal

Young Luke,

Thanks for the kudos. Don't presume that Granny is able to complete
anything on her own yet, including the trash sort. So you will need to
look at that activity as a continuation of the move, with your
personal involvement being critical to trash sort completion.

And Granny is and will be oblivious to the need for boundaries in the
new multi generational trailer park of life. So it's back to you,
number one son, to set, articulate, and reinforce the concept. I would
start with getting your key back from Granny right away. That
will demonstrate to Anna that you are on the boundary case. You and
Anna need to develop very specific boundaries. For example, unlimited
day and night drop ins are not ok. Perhaps you schedule regular times
to be together, a couple of times a week or whatever. You will need to
tweek as you go. I fear it's going to take you more than one session to
have Cheryl understand that while Anna loves her, Anna needs her space.
I'm in town for two weeks if y'all would like to talk to me more about
the boundary waters.

It was great to see you in the Outback. Let me know when you have your
Primus karaoke medley worked up.

O. B. Juan

--
Greg

> -------------- Original message --------------

> Hello again,

> I was a little too fuzzy last night to articulate this properly, but I
> wanted to make a point of letting you know that your dialog on the
> phone with Anna really helped get her on board and increased her
> willingness, I think, to suggest the offer of getting Granny to move
> down here. Unfortunately (but foreseeably), the whole process has
> created a new set of problems of competition between Anna and Granny,
> and Anna is having a hard time settling into this new arrangement, but
> it just started, and I think things will shake out rather comfortably.

> I told her about last night, and she was trying to suggest that we
> might come down and see you so that you might re-iterate certain points
> of that discussion, particularly the parts about 'setting boundaries'.
> I think that she is afraid that I won't set appropriate boundaries with
> my mom now that she lives right next door. We had to talk about the
> fact that we HAD to move all of the junk out of that house to avoid
> leaving a huge mess for someone else to clean up (they will have a
> large enough mess to clean up as it is...) and that it will take my mom
> a couple of months to sort out the good stuff and throw the junk away,
> and most of what she keeps will still look like junk to Anna, as her
> standards are rather snootier than my mom's. This is not to say that
> we wouldn't come and see you, but just that she is impatient and she
> wanted my mom to get rid of all of that junk before moving, but of
> course there's no trash service up there, and the 'clearing' process is
> just as much internal for Granny as it is external. I told her about
> our discussion re: 'the next step is teeth', and that I am hoping that
> we can start talking about htat one before Xmas.

> Anyway, I still might have to take her to karaoke night and see if
> she'll get up and do any Madonna tunes. Maybe she (or I) will get
> hooked and... well, stranger things have happened, I guess.

> SO, no big deal, I just wanted to give credit where credit is due, and
> wish you a good trip into the Heartland --> Okoboji, that is...

> YW

>> ----- Original Message -----

>> Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2005 3:30 PM

>> Subject: Re: Live on the Diagonal

>> Young Will,

>> Granny out of the Shining in the middle of the night in the rain!
>> Great work young Jedi! I wasn't planning to invite your Mother to
>> the show on Saturday night.

>> GT

>> --
>> Greg

>>> -------------- Original message --------------

>>> Hola-

>>> Not only will I be able to return your book, I'll be able to tell you
>>> all about moving Granny Clampett out of the mountains and into her
>>> new 'retirement villa' right down the row from me at the Sans Souci
>>> Mobile Home Park.

>>> She doesn't have live phone there yet; with the stress of the move,
>>> she completely neglected to call the phone and satellite
>>> utility companies; I don't know when she'll have her phone switched.

>>> She and I returned from the Shining last night at about 2am in the
>>> rain with the final truckloads that I will be assisting her with. I
>>> would've called later today, but I suppose this works, too. I will
>>> inform her of the event, as well. Unfortunately, Anna will be at
>>> work that evening and will be unable to attend, I'm sure.

>>> Technically, this could all be evidence of further enabling behavior
>>> from moi, but it is done and mostly successfully so far.

>>> Talk to you later, (and if not before then, I'll see you Saturday)

>>> Will

>>>> ----- Original Message -----

>>>> Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2005 9:20 AM

>>>> Subject: Live on the Diagonal

>>>> I will be in the karoake house Saturday night at the Outback (not
>>>> the steakehouse) at 28th and the Diagonal in Boulder starting at 9
>>>> PM. Y'all are invited, and this would be a user friendly moment to
>>>> honor your commitment and return my book.

>>>> Greg

Luvsexytrstno1